- · 'cuz · its · all · in · my · head · -

my life as of Decemeber 27th is over as i know it.
sad.
the Lord continually blesses me day to day.
i love school.
i love riverside.
YEAH i said it.
RIVERSIDE.
well at least within my CBU walls.

i've changed so much and i see it.
the way i treat people and talk to them
and how i act away from them.
i love my friends.
im in an EXTREMELY good group of people
my coaches are amazing.
i absolutely love it here.
Santa Barbara and SLO soon :]
exciittingggg.

letting go of old un-needed things.
and have been let go.
but its okay
we are completely different people
my eyes are set on things yours aren't.
i pray that you find your way back to the treasure.
but i dont see it happening soon.
and that hurts me.
but its okay, because the Lord has a perfect will set out for me
and you
hopefully you'll grasp it and take it.
welp got class eeee
:]

that you care for someone so much at one point in your life.
but now the things they say, do, and eveything just bugs or disgusts you.
i guess its good im totally away from everyone.

i've moved on.
loving life in college.
new crush.
new school.
new attitude.
new passion for Christ.
new fire.
new friends.
new EVERYTHING
and i love it.
it was def God's will that i'd be here at cal baptist and i am so blessed to be surrounded by the amazing people i am now.

so pretty much everything that has been said lately..

like can't you see

what have i've been working for like my whole effin life

you've got to be kidding me..

honestly

its sooo lame

whatever..

I looked away

Then I look back at you

You try to say

The things that you can't undo

If I had my way

I'd never get over you

Today's the day

I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall

Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

tell me im not wasting me life..
tell me im doing good..
tell me i can pull through..
tell me this won't kill me..
tell me im okay..
tell me i won't cry all the time..
tell me i will have fun still..
tell me its still out there..
tell me stop searching..

im not wrong..people make mistakes..i won't be like this all the time.. i can pull through it won't kill me
i won't be drug down..i WILL make it..

next...

why do the smallest things hurt.. after your heart breaks once even little meaningless things that technically haven't started and still hurt you and make you feel worse than you once did before..

next..

but it ain't me babe
no no no it ain't me babe
it ain't me your looking for babe..

im not the one you want babe
ill only let you down..

this song plays in my mind constantly

next....

tell me you need me..
tell me you did love me..
tell me you were true..
tell me it was real..

im sorry

"i dont want to see you anymore
im just not that strong
i love it when you here
but im better when your gone
im certain that ive given
and ohhh how you can take
theres no use in looking
theres nothing left for you to break
baby please release me
let my heart rest
in pieces...."

that goes for the two of you
good talk with ryan last night
he made me realize things and feel better about moving away from people and everything
grandddd party at the dales
wasted at 4 yeahhh i love mikey

kyles friends hate him and don't hang out with him
but when i went to mikey's they all asked where i had been
they love me yeahhh